Taking Social Media Breaks

I love social media. I love taking photos, thinking of captions, commenting, catching up; I love the whole bit. On the other side of the coin, sometimes, it drains my emotional tank and leaves me empty. It’s hard to see so many people, many whom I haven’t see in person in years or have never even met in real life, go through really challenging times. I care therefore I carry the burden. Also, at times the comparison trap can grab and suffocate me.

At different seasons in my life, I’ve been more excited about social media than other times. No matter what season I’m in the truth is that engaging in social media takes time. It takes time to prepare a post, to comment, to scroll, and to respond. It’s a social and creative outlet, but at times it can suck me in and pull me away from the ones I love most.

I’ve taken breaks before of varying degrees. Most every weekend I take a complete break from all social media. This has helped my mental health and also the little break helps me feel excited about engaging on Monday. Other times I take a break for a longer period of time, such as six weeks.

I’ve tried different methods of social media fasting too. Sometimes no posting only scrolling. Sometimes no scrolling only posting. Sometimes only checking messages and responding, but no scrolling or posting. This summer I decided to take a complete break, I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter from my phone. I’m not sure if it was because I recently turned forty and just don’t care as much what others think or maybe because of the Covid-19 crisis and a desire to simplify my mind so I can be fully present with my kids this summer. Either way, it’s already been a couple of weeks and I’m not regretting it at all. I’m actually loving it.

The Pressure of the Post

There’s a quiet pressure that is felt to get the picture just right, make sure the post is well written, thoughtful and engaging. Also, the decisions of how often and what to post takes mental energy. I think about proper online etiquette like response time to comments, permission to post photos of others and what my kids will think in 10 years about the photos and comments. I spend quite a bit of thought on these things. When I’m off social media I have space in my brain to think of other things.

Hurdles to Taking a Social Media Break

When the thought of taking a break comes to mind I know at least 10 reasons follow for why you can’t. I’m with you and have thought of a few common reasons myself.

What If Someone Needs Me?

A complete break has always seemed scary to me. What if someone needs me? What if someone posts a really mean or untrue thing about me and I won’t even know or be able to defend myself? What if someone tags me in a horrible picture that needs to be deleted? And so on and so on. Of course, these things could happen, but for my emotional and mental health, it is better for me to take a break.

By doing this I’m fully able to live in my real life and only interact with the people that are in my physical presence. Am I saying that I want to go live in a hole somewhere and have no one bother me for 3 months? No, I still need and want community, but for a time I can choose to not engage online with social media.

Help! I’ll Have Gaps in My Online Scrapbook AKA Instagram

What about the photos and memories from the time period of the break? I was still living my life and want to record those moments too. Since my Instagram also serves as a scrapbook it will have gaps that I can never correct! This was a HUGE issue for me and it still is, honestly, but I would rather have a break from the busyness than ensure all my moments are captured and shared. Also, once back on I can do several posts that fill in the gaps and get caught up.

What if I Need to Look Something Up While I’m Taking a Break?

What about if I need to look something up and I’ve deleted the app? Well, there is no law here. You can either look it up on another device or simply just wait until your timeframe for your break is over. Yes, a bit inconvenient but worth it. Above all give yourself grace. If you fail and find yourself back on social media start again the next day. This is a process and perfection is not the goal.

How Can I Actually Do This?

It helps me to have something else at the ready when I feel the urge to scroll. I love audiobooks and podcasts so those are always fun. I also have a cross-stitch project at the ready. I work in the yard, play checkers with Grant, read a book to Dean or just sit next to Brent on the couch and talk. Sometimes I keep a list of things I want to do when I have free time that way I don’t have to come up with something, I just scan my list.

My Village Versus the World Village

When I’m off social media I can focus on my family, my neighborhood, and my city. I’m not pulled in a million directions and asked to be involved in every crisis around the world. I have freedom, space and capability to narrow my focus to what is right in front of me. I love the ease of the Internet to inform about happenings all over the planet but honestly, at times I long for the days of old where people only knew about what was happening under their roof and in their town. I have to truly look at my capacity and ability and evaluate how social media impacts that.

At the end of my life will I be more concerned if I spent enough time on social media or face to face interactions with my kids? Will I remember the evenings I spent scrolling or will the memories of chasing lightning bugs outweigh those? I’m thankful for social media and I use it happily, but it does haunt me what my kids might say about my time spent on it when they’re older.

Can I truly listen and pay attention to my husband while posting something at the same time? For me, I can’t. I heard a quote recently by the poet Mary Oliver that said, “To pay attention this is our endless and proper work.” I think I’m always longing to pay closer attention to my life, taking a break from social media helps me toward this goal.

Years ago Brent ask if I could enjoy the moment and post about it later. I’ve thought about that a lot. It’s sometimes challenging to simply be in a moment, to fully enjoy all that it has to offer, but yet somehow I’m robbed of its joy by entangling myself in a post rather than fully engaging.

Inspired By Others

It always helps to not be the first one to jump. I’ve had friends and family over the years that have taken breaks or gotten off social media permanently. Their choices help inspire me. I know there is no real rule book on social media usage but it helps to see others set limits. It makes me think I can do it too.

Please hear me that I LOVE social media if you look through my Instagram account you’ll see that (at least I hope). I am coming up on 10 years on Instagram. I feel so much joy looking back at my posts and remembering things we’ve done.

You have a choice. You can walk away from it for a time or not. I think I was held captive for too long and I don’t want you to feel that same weight. Also, I know this is a very personal decision. I have no judgment if you feel no need for a break. All I can do is share my experience of how taking breaks has helped me. If you are really desiring a break I hope you feel the freedom to go for it!

Have you ever considered taking a break from social media?

Looking for more on digital minimalism? Here is a great podcast where three moms discuss the topic.

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