Money, Tears, and Hope

Here’s the thing: I know many people are struggling financially right now, maybe even you. I’m hurting for you. I want to make it better and magically fill your bank account with enough money to pay all your bills this month. Although I do believe in miracles, I know some bills will still be left unpaid and the stress will be heavy for many.

My husband and I have followed the principles taught by Dave Ramsey for many years. I know for some you may stop reading right here. You have opinions or maybe just don’t like the approach that Dave takes. I had a hard time signing on to everything too, so I thought the more helpful approach I could take was to share my story and hopefully bring encouragement to yours.

Newlywed and New to Finances

After Brent and I were married one of the first exposures I had with personal finance was creating a budget as a couple. I didn’t grow up doing this and didn’t really see the need. I was able to pay my bills (mostly) and do the things I wanted to, so why did we need to write it all down?

Honestly, for the first couple of years, I just went along with it because it was what Brent wanted. Then we took a Financial Peace University (FPU) class. I started understanding what I considered adult financial topics. Dave was presenting the material in a simple way that made it easy to understand. I felt as though I was in an entertaining class, with a teacher I thought was corny and funny plus was learning really practical stuff. I started understanding more about savings, retirement, insurance and investing. At that point, I took ownership of our money.

I started showing up prepared for the budget meetings or parties as Brent and I like to call them. Talking through our spending for the prior and current month always helped ease my fears. I could see on the budget that we had a certain amount of money for this category and a certain amount of money for that category. It was my job to not go over budget since I did most of the spending. Of course, if something came up I could always talk to Brent about changing things around but there was security in the boundaries of the budget.

Also, since I am an under-buyer this gave me freedom from guilt to buy things. As long as the budget category had money in it I could spend. New dress, no problem. No need to discuss it with Brent. We had already agreed on the amounts during our budget meeting.

Credit Cards were my Saftey Net

It all seemed like common sense to me. A line Dave Ramsey says is, “It’s God’s and Grandma’s way of handling money.” It matched what I’d seen my own parents and grandparents doing and I was on board. A hang-up for me was that Dave encourages people to stop accruing debt and live without credit cards. I liked having a safety net.

Brent and I sat down and he asked me what all the scenarios were in which we would need a credit card. At that point, we had baby step one completed which is $1000 in the bank for emergencies. After discussing all my what if’s, I decided I could cancel my credit cards and see what happened. In the back of my mind, I thought, “Well if this turns out to not work I can always get another credit card.”

Fight and Freedom

Twelve years later it turns out I never needed to open up another credit card. I think the key was that I started believing in us, believing we have the power to impact our story. We were both committed to winning with our money, we were committed to doing whatever it took to not go into debt, we were willing to sacrifice for a while to gain in the end. It has been a fight but freedom has been found.

I started getting a vision of what I wanted our financial situation to be at retirement. I knew that if we didn’t focus early on in our marriage we wouldn’t arrive at the desired destination when we’re old and gray.

Hope is Here

The main thing I want to encourage you with is that you can get through this situation even if you have a mountain of bills you can’t pay. You are still alive and breathing and are capable of more than you know. Yes, things may have to change but that’s not the end. Good can come from this even if you currently see no light at all.

Brent and I have had to take risks. We’ve had to say “no” more than we would like. We’ve been humbled. We’ve moved in with friends and family several times to save money. We’ve sacrificed, stayed up late, woke up early, discussed our finances when we didn’t feel like it, and worked on our patience instead of gratifying ourselves instantly. We’ve not been perfect and there have been a lot of tears, but I say all this to show the road is not easy but worth it.

Today is the day to pull yourself up. Decided you are going to win with your finances and start moving forward. A good place to start is with Financial Peace University, a class in the foundations of personal finance.

Also, I’d love to hear your story. Brent and I have taught FPU many times over the years. We’re always inspired by the stories we hear from our students. For those navigating a job loss, this is a great article. If your wondering which bills to pay and which to set to the side remember to cover your four walls first.

Please don’t hold the burden alone. Reach out. Share your story with someone. We would love to connect with you and encourage you. Send us an email or comment below.

What is something you’ve struggled with concerning money?

You may also like Resources on Prayer or Being Still, Connecting with God.

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